Gardens at Bellvue

Yeah, I'm starting to remember why I was considering jumping ship off LJ. *grrr*

All I have to say about the latest lj dramaram boldthrough WHATEVER is that--Boy, am I happy I already shelled out for a perm account here. And backed up my journal.

Today was a looong day. I started off okay, and then got a call telling me I had to go down to Barefoot Bay to see patients for a nurse who called off sick. It was a fifty mile drive from where I was. I did a start of care and then two quick visits and then drove my happy ass back up to MIMS. An EIGHTY mile drive, thank you very much.

Still. For those measly visits I got double the perdiem rate. Which meant 116$ for the admission and 68$ each visit! SWEET. Also, my expense check for this two week period is three hundred bucks, WOO!

( I don't talk about money much, but I figure almost no one is reading this so truly, I don't give a fuck.)

I'm tired, my eyes hurt, my ass hurts and I MUST go to the beach tomorrow. Yes. Cape Canaveral. Glassy breaking waves, low tide, rising and falling in the sea. Yeah. Tomorrow is a beach day.

So today was a good day. I mention this because it seems like, lately, there's been more bad days than good.

I moved a hydrangea that had been struggling, turned over the compost pile, planted a rose that'd been lingering in the pot ghetto for TOO LONG, and fertilized and watered half the garden. Oh, and I sprayed for bugs. Go me! (And what's more, I did all that in between visits.)

After I got home, I started working on cleaning. I've been having this problem focusing lately, and when I was trying to straighten up, I kept getting all distracted by shiny things and never got anything done. So--I did all the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, dining room and living room. Vacummed the entire house and took three bags of trash out! Then Craig came over and we hung out for awhile.


So yeah. It was good.

Spoilers behind the cut, and if anyone comments then there too, duh.

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Random things:


1. I scrounged up a few hours and saw Order of the Phoenix today.

2. I am making tomato sauce from scratch--It's not bad so far, but I know I can make it much better. (Oh, if ONLY I'd had fresh garlic!)

3. I'm not exactly making friends at work. I managed to piss off a supervisor at a completely different office today, go me!

4. It's raining almost every day, so I don't have to water the garden, but I kind of miss the actualy ACT of watering.

5. I am contemplating renting a beach house next year for two weeks.

6. We are having really bad thunder storms right now. The kind where you want to huddle up under covers and snuggle against a person who makes you feel safe. (I'm expecting Angel to join me any moment.)

7. I caved and had a diet coke at the movies.

8. I'm okay with #7.

9. I plan on watching some more commentary on my season 5 Stargate DVDs tonight.

10. Could've been a worse day.

Yesterday I donated blood.

Why did I do this? I voluntarily went to a place where I invited a stranger to insert a 16 gauge needle into a large vein and drain a pint of blood from my body.

The gave me coupons, a gift card for a free dinner, and a gas card to be mailed later. I did not ask for these things, nor did I ask to be paid.

So why would I do this?

Because I've administered blood to sick people in the hospital. I've gotten fresh postops who took 22 units of blood to keep them alive after their aortic aneurysm dissected. Little old ladies who had a hip done, and young women bleeding after giving birth, and middle aged folks who have complications during routine surgery. Cancer patients. Almost dead patients. Little boys with hemophilia, and little girls with leukemia. People with ITP, and AIDS and HIV. All of them need blood.

I did it because it's the right thing to do, and such a little thing that makes such a big difference. The man who got 22 units---every single person helped save his life. This is a way we can come together with people we will never meet and do something good. I've been going on tangents lately about what can I do, just one person--little ole me!--what I can do to make a difference.

You see, someone told me I COULDN'T make a difference by myself. I don't believe that. And I won't. That kind of thinking is what stops people from helping each other even if that's the first instinct.

So give blood. Look up you local blood bank, the Red Cross or call a local hospital and ask how you can donate blood. It's such a little thing.

It's such a big thing.

It's been a crazy two weeks, that's for sure. Started off with the week of vacation and the trip to Virginia to visit my folks. I came home the sixth, but Angel stayed up there for a few more days. And that, my friends, is when I had a semi mini breakdown. Apparently, my daughter right now is the glue that's holding me together, and with her not around I kind of fell to pieces.

I excersized too hard, gardened too hard, didn't eat near enough, didn't sleep well enough. And when I went for my therapy appt that Monday---It was bad. I haven't cried that much in a looong time. My counselor very gently suggested I talk to my doctor about upping my effexor dose. (Hee! I always find that amusing.)


Anyway, the mood swings are better now that Angie's home, and we're together. My parents left this morning, after staying for a few days, so hopefully, things can get back to normal now.

I still have not seen the new HP movie--I'm gonna try for this week, maybe. I finally buckled down and made apppointment for Angie's doctors (dentist and allergist) and a gyn appt for me. I was kind of surprised to realize it's been 2.5 years since my last check up. Bad Lanie!


It's gorgeous here, and in a little while I'm taking Angel to the beach. Aaaah. It's gonne be great.

Here's a topic you don't see me posting about much, mainly because I generally avoid men like the plague. Anyway, my neighbor, Frank, sent me a booty call text message while I was on vacation. Basically something along the lines of 'Can I C U 2nite'. (Ick, I HATE netspeak) I replied with silence. Next morning he sent another text saying 'Sorry I was drunk.' !!!! The fuck?

LAST night, he sends me a text inviting me to go on a CRUISE with him?

Now quite annoyed, I replied, "Not my cup of tea but thanks for the invite."

Then I called Craig and spilled the entire story. When I got off the phone I was so aggravated that I sent Frank the following message..."I need to say something. You're a great guy but just not my type. Also, I find your friend irressistably hot."



Bitchy? Maybe, but as Craig pointed out if I didn't set this guy straight now, and since he APPARENTLY has not yet gotten the message that I'm not interested--that who knows how long he would keep trying.


I didn't want to do it, but you know what? He fucking pushed me. And I hate to be pushed. If I wanted to be with him, I would have done it already. ARGH!!

Well. I'm a slacker lately about updating, and it's not for lack of anything to say. I've lots to say, I just....don't feel like sitting around and writing it out.

I was on vacation last week, everything went fine. Came home last Friday, and have spent the last two days cleaning up the grounds and garden. The lawn was knee high, and there was a ROSE EXPLOSION in my absence. Also, I am the proud owner of a shiny new DIGITAL CAMERA and will be posting pics in a minutes.






Now that I've got your attention, you should know that Angie is still in Va with Nana and Pop. I am like a seesaw without a fulcrum, here people. And so I've been keeping myself super busy so as not to go mad with missing my baby.

I MISS MY BABY, DAMMIT.

Begins with a night of perfect sleep. After a whole day of gardening yesterday, I ended up in bed at 845. And slept, and slept, and slept. had some strange dreams, but nothing too bad. I woke this morning to sunlight slanting in through cracks in the blinds and a sensation of almost overwhelming well-being.

Breakfast, coffee, email. Then---

To the beach. It's a clear glorious day, with soft fluffy clouds and a nice breeze. The ocean was so calm, we used to call it 'Lake Atlantic'. Angel and I spent a few hours in the sea, just floating and laughing and playing. She swims now, and the two of us ride up and down the gentle waves and looking around at the other people.

We turned up the radio real loud on the way home, and the wind dried our hair. Gorged ourselves at Mickey D's and now Angie's in the shower.

I'm still covered with sand and sweaty, and I probably stink, and you know what? I've never felt better.

Work. Has been super busy again. Seven to ten visits a day. My 99 year old man has decided that it's time, and he's stopped eating and drinking. He spends most of the day slumped in his wheelchair, facing the window, and hopefully, traveling in his mind far away from here.

I've only known this man a short while and really, only made about four visits to him. But such a connection formed, maybe because I took a lot of time to listen. Maybe because I sent him to the hospital last week. (His son grabbed me by the shoulder and said yesterday "I wanted to thank you for saving Dad's life.") Maybe it's all the times he tried to grab my ass, and I'd say, "Old Man, you're getting HANDSY again!"

I asked him yesterday if he was ready to go. He looked at me with those clear, wise eyes. "Oh, yes." He said. "I'm ready."

I think that he got better in the hospital only because he knew he HAD to to get home again. I think he made the choice not to die in there, but to come home, to the place on the river he's lived for a century, the home of his family for three generations now. He made the choice to leave this world surrounded by his own things, looking out over his own trees and pineapple plants.

99.

It's time.

I've been very busy in the garden the past couple of days. Have been getting very very dirty, which I love.


This morning I took Angel to IHOP for breakfast. Which was delicious! I had this strange cinnamon bun/french toast thingity drenched with syrup....God, so good. Nearly as good as sex. Cleaned the house some, bought two pair of new sneakers for me. And then scrubbed the car down. Finally, finally I think I got all the dead love bugs off. So icky.


I think after my next rose order comes, I'm declaring a moratorium for awhile. Summer in Florida is not the best time for the garden. YOu know how Northerners wait all year for May and June and the Spring flush? Well, our best months are October through April. My dark reds are crisping in the heat, the Austins blow in less than a day and my china roses look like Mini's.

Ah, well. This too, shall pass.

I just read on Yahoo.com that the Yankees have won nine games in a row. I don't care HOW far back they are.* Suck it, h8ters!





*I don't care because I was alive back in the late seventies when the Yanks were like twelve games back of fucking July fourth and then ended the season tied with the Red Sux, and then Bucky Dent smashed a homerun over the green monster in left field. Ahh, the good ole days. Reggie and Mickey and Ron Guidry and Greg Nettles and Bucky Dent.

Summer time in New York, my Dad with the scratchy AM radio listening to Phil Rizzuto and Bill White call the games. And we'd be raking leaves or moving patio blocks and sweating BALLS, but it was all good. Because the Yankees were coming out of nowhere, and there was a pitcher of iced tea.
Some of my dad's friends used to talk baseball, and they'd talk about being kids. "FDR was always the President and the Pennant always flew over Yankee stadium."

The Yankees. The ONE thing I miss about New York. (Besides pizza.And bagels.)

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19207050/

Dear Hospital, and Folks who work there,


You all suck. You all killed this lady and let her die on the floor like a dog. Every single last fucking one of you ought to have your medical liscence revoked, shredded and burned and then you should be forced to eat the ashes.

Shame on you all.

Sometimes I get an idea that is so inspired, so good so OBVIOUS in tetrospect that I just want to sing my praises. Over the weekend I moved my hammock to right under the maple tree. I know! I r smrt.

Anyway, it was about ten degrees cooler in the shade and so I lay there, under my tree, looking up through the canopy of leaves, watching the slivers of blue sky peek through the green and just thinking how good life can be.

Also, I have a number of flisters who have been gardening! Yay! The best part of getting dirty and hot and sweaty is coming in all gross, knocking back about three glasses of ice water and then taking a nice long shower. Usually I flop on my bed in towels and don't move for about half an hour.

It's awesome.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY eep1313! Hope it's a great one!

Well, since I have a permanent account, I figure I should get used to posting here. That being said, I just friended some folks, kind of randomly. Basically I looked up some of my interests and thought you guys looked neat. I'm not an axe murderer, I swear.


Work is...well, it's just work. My patients are all doing okay. Some wounds are healing and other people just keep doing all the things I keep telling them not to do. I have to shrug that off, and do what I can. Still, only four visits makes an easy day, seriously.

I biked fourteen miles, picked up my daughter from school early, and then went on a jaunt to Bath and Body works. (They're having INSANE sales, BTW. Those glycerin soaps? 1 dollar each!) And then I took the baby out to dinner at Red Lobster, WHEE! I should clarify that 'the baby' is now almost eight. Yikes.

Tomorrow looks to be okay--I should have time for a bike ride if I want, but truthfully, I'm just exhausted. I have been trying to go without my sleeping medicines and so far it's kind of a draw. I get to sleep, then have nightmares all night. Bummer.

Now about those 300 icons.....

Had horrible nightmares again last night, not surprising, I guess, given my therapy session yesterday. Still, I'm getting sick of torture, serial killers, blood dripping from the ceiling. I'm sick of sneak attacks, and large needles, and having to watch children get punched in the stomach. These are the things I dream about, three-four times a week or more. And usually, the nightmares last all night, leaving me exhausted in the morning and almost wishing I had stayed awake all night. Like that would just be more relaxing in the end.

Or at least, I hope THEY know they don't live here. I came home for lunch today, and as usual, stopped in the front garden to look at the plants. I had my key turning in the lock when I realised that I felt beady little eyes on me. ACK!!! Fred and George were twined around each other, and wrapped securely around the pillar I'm growing my Eveyln rose on!!

I screamed like little girl, and came back armed with a LONG rake. I poked them with the stick end, to get them to realize that this is not a good place to hang out. There's a CRAZY lady who lives here! Reluctantly, F&G flopped to the ground and them IMMEDIATELY slithered right back into the rose next door, Livin Easy!

So, again with the rake. FInally, they took off, and hopefully are far away from my front door. Sheesh! Stupid Snakes!